My Relationships as an INTJ

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I am an INTJ (borrowing from Myers & Briggs Type Indicators).  I tend to favor my inner world, draw conclusions between information, prefer logical decisions, and stick to a structured environment.  Not absolutely cast in concrete, but these are my preferences.

When it comes to relationship, I look for constant growth.  Which means, a strong relationship characterized by elements of learning, evolving, and experiencing. And  mutual interactions result in renewal and not dead-end.

To some, I may come across being practical minded, utilitarian, and, at times, insensitive to others’ feelings.  They may view my interactions  in a relationship as transactional, devoid of emotions, and not caring.

Nothing can be further from the truth.  Relationships are important to me. I try to hold on to them and look for ways to improve. I remember people’s birthdays, anniversaries, or other significant events.  Often people get surprised to receive a note from me on such occasions.

But, I readily acknowledge and admit there are always rooms for improvement.  My intention however positive would be entirely useless if not perceived as such.  Better articulating my feelings and perhaps more importantly, cultivating my relationships in a way that fits my INTJ preferences are what I can work on.

What are your preference in relationship? Got suggestions? Please share.

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4 Responses to My Relationships as an INTJ

  1. truevie7 says:

    I am also labeled INTJ actually…

    I agree with you. I think INTJs are misrepresented as this robotic person too, but its more like INTJs are just trying to understand the emotions of others before acting.

    I’ve been in a growing, dynamic relationship for years now. I feel the same way about birthdays and anniversaries of others and I am very passionate about people I care about.

    I admit that I over analyze things sometimes. It is just in my nature because I enjoy thinking about things.

    It sounds like you may have a similar way of thinking. It was nice reading about your thoughts and perspective. Thanks for sharing.



  2. I am an INTJ too. This personality has contributed much to my idealist and perfectionist kind of life. Including when I have relationship with other people.

    We’re not insensitive. On the contrary, we’re sensitive enough to know what happen to people around us. But sometimes our logic drives us to set a scale of priority. As a result, we may neglect people around us just because they’re not on the top of our priority, and that’s when INTJs are said to be insensitive.

    But to those we love, we share a huge amount of care. This is why a relationship with INTJ usually lasts long. We show care even for the simplest thing of life such as birthdays and anniversaries.


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