In a nutshell, relationship exists because of mutual benefit. Or saying it another way, without mutual benefit no relationship will last. Common knowledge but not common practice. Why?
Challenge is each individual is unique. Benefit to one may not be so to others. It depends on the individual perspective. For instance, take the wonton soup – you may like the wonton, and I like the soup. Mutual benefit arise from our sharing of the soup. Getting to that end state takes work.
Important to note that, as illustrated in the above example, mutual benefit do not mean same or equal (as in 50/ 50) necessarily. Assuming so trivialize the process and backfire on the end goal. Imaging if you and I both get half of the woton soup.
So key to reaching mutual benefit is to understand what other side desires and painstakingly work towards it. A 70/ 30 or some other outcomes could be beneficial depending on the participants and how the agreement is reached.
We have migrants who want to come into the country for a shot at the opportunity for a better life. Instead of thinking they will take our jobs away, consume our foods, or steal our goods, why not give them the opportunity while supplement the labor shortage we have? Couldn’t there be a mutual benefit?
How about other “polarized” issues such as race, gender, and other social problems we face in America? If we sincerely want sustainable solutions to these problems, the goal of mutual benefit should keep both sides at the negotiation table.
Do you believe in that mutual benefit can work?
Running with Buddha 