Trust & Disgust

Nothing resembles our value judgement better than our feelings of trust and disgust. With trust, we have an affinity for the subject.  We move closer.  It is just the opposite when it comes to disgust.  When disgusted, we have an aversion for the subject.  We can’t wait to move away.

Trust is the foundation of any relationships.  Whether business or personal.  It makes any interactions smooth, pleasant, and receptive.  Net positive.  Best if all relationships can be trustworthy.  Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

In fact, certain subjects, for one reason or another, just rub us the wrong way.   They leave a yucky taste in our mouth and a disgusting feeling in our gut – a total turnoff.  Needless to say both the trust and disgust are subjective reactions based on our values.

What interesting is when we flip the two.  Yes, when we go from one extreme to the other.  Allow me to explain with an example. Two co-workers think each other is disgusting and do their best to keep their distance.  But one day, their path crossed, a fallout pursued, and lo and behold the two became the best of buddies.

What happened? To be continued.


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A Wet Weekend

Sounds on the window pans tells me finally, the rain has arrived.  In the forecast, a wet weekend awaits the DC neighborhood (to everyone’s dismay). And not disappointing, all day long, the gloomy sky threatens the coming of the inclement weather.

If it weren’t for the temperature, I would think snow is for sure on the way.  Snow or rain, it does not really matter much.  Both are four letter words around here.  Personally, if must, I pick the rain over the snow.  At least with the rain, a chance to get the filth off my cars, my sidewalk, and possibly my running shoes.

Listen.  The house is quiet.  Besides the heater that seems be running around the clock, I am accompanied by myself, peaceful thoughts and the rain.  Wife is busy shopping Christmas presents for the family.  I am grateful to leave that task within her capable hands.

Perhaps, a perfect time to get the Christmas tree set up this weekend.

What do you have planned for your weekend?

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Liar, Liar, Part 2

My aunt has always told me it takes ten lies to cover one lie.  Thus, nothing is more convincing than catching a liar in action.  And Chris Cuomo’s take-down of the POTUS is a prime example.

Perhaps too soon to declare the writing on the wall but certainly there are hand prints all over.  Guarantee this will get interesting.  Why bother with TV subscription when the real life drama is more griping than the fiction.

Part 1, here.


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Be Proactive – From Inside Out

Creating space,

in distance, time, or our mind/ body.

What for?

For creativity, reflection, or recovery.

So the right action may arise.



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Yoga Appeal

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I do yoga.  What appeals me about the yoga is its combined benefits of mind and body.  The meditative as well as the physical benefits from its poses and flow produce a synergistic effect right from the get-go that I find it hard to achieve elsewhere.

In meditation, I sit still and observe my mind.  No body movement other than breathing in and out.  In arm curls, I focus on lifting the wights with my arms.  It’s all physical.  But when I hold a “tree pose” for example in my yoga practice, it takes both my mind to concentrate as well as my body control for balancing.

Of course any exercises is good.  But to me for the same amount of time, yoga is more value-added and efficient.   It’s like getting two for the price of one with a holistic twist.  What is not to like?

Do you yoga?

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Reblog: Negotiate Nicely?

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Often in negotiations the feelings is opposition. The more you get the less I will end up. In other words, a zero sum or win-lose proposition.  But negotiation does not have to be combative nor opposing according to this Harvard Business Review by Carolyn O’Hara.

Some of the tips O’Hara offers (and my $0.02) include:

  • make smart small-talk (does not have to be personal, could be on the process for example)
  • creative framing (not a concession but joint problem-solving or something non-adversary)
  • Stress “we” over “I” (win-win relationship)
  • Don’t cave in to save the relationship (lose-win proposition)
  • ask sincere questions and listen (trust building)

O’Hara also provides two case studies to illustrate how this negotiation approach works in actions.  Remember that a win-win negotiation is possible if you believe so.

Do you believe it’s possible to be nice in negotiation?

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Week In Review – 9 Dec 2018

This week, the 49th of the year, has been a cold one.  Temperatures hover below 50 degree Fahrenheit and trending downward.  By the weekend, highs are only around the 30’s.  When it is cold outside, I retrench inward.

Self knowledge and life story are about getting to know myself closer.  Call them writing meditation if you will, but this journey of inward discovery has been a continuous learning.  For example, nutrition against aging is what I learned to adapt in this stage of my life.

One of the pressures of holidays is gifting.  Definitely not my cup of tea but a necessary ritual.  Thanks to the convenience of online shopping, I get to experience the agony of waiting in anticipation.  Brick & mortar stores still have their advantages.

I suppose that I should not complaint.  Some people don’t even have the opportunity to shop online.  Because they don’t have access to the internet.  Let alone the benefit of predictive analytic from the Big Data and a host of other digital commerce.

Have a nice week.

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Self Knowledge

While running in the cold this morning, 22 degree Fahrenheit to be precise, a thought came to me, a Buddha moment if you will.

And the thought was how close am I to myself? How well do I really know myself?  Yes, I was running alone, and it was cold. How my mind not frozen was beside the question. But the genesis of the thought came from a talk by Bryan Stevenson that I saw early in the week.

The “power of proximity” says, to me, by being close we learn about details, emotions, and other nuances that would otherwise not be revealed. So who else is closer to us than ourselves? And yet how many of us pay attention to those intricate details?

Well, I know I take a lot of those details for granted.  Perhaps meditate can help. The Dalai Lama meditates, reportedly, four to five hours daily, and seems to be in tune with himself.  I am no Dalai Lama, and if anything I am distracted more than His Holiness is awake. But at least, I can try.

What complexity about yourself have you noticed?

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Life Story

Our life story is work in progress.

For instance, my story contains “chapters” that represent milestones of my life.  And my roles as a son, student, husband, father, and etc. depict the different characters woven into my story.  They provide contexts for each of the chapters as well as memories.

While my story continues, a theme throughout my life is “value.”  Or more specifically, how I seek to maximize the outcomes achievable.  Not monetary nor material per se, but the value best described as something useful or being useful to others.

Insofar as I am concern, the term “Value added” has over time become my motto and guiding principle in my efforts.  Be it material well-being for my family, member cohesion for my team, or benefit to my organization, that is how my life story unfolds.

How about you? What is your life story?

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In Anticipation

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Nothing yet.

Peeking out the window, no signs of my package.

Where is that package which

the tracking says “out for delivery” since morning?

Gifting is supposed to be fun.

But not to me.

Certainly not the way it feels now.

Such a torture.

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